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The Worst Part Of Life

by In Archives

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1.
Misery 02:54
What's the point of living life like this? In a world so bleak that I don’t exist. The hardest part is letting go, and to face my time and spend it on my own. The misery is all I’m feeling. And in time it won’t start healing. I hate the person I’m not anymore, each day gets worse and worse as I’m driven down to the floor. And I find myself aching endlessly, in your last moments I wonder if you were thinking of me. And now I know what it's like to be alone, the truth is that I need a way out of life. It hurts to say it doesn’t feel the same, if I reset my life I know I can’t start again. There is only one way this can end, because death is the only thing keeping me from you.
2.
Separation 01:44
3.
The worst part of life is dying alone, and I blame myself now that you're gone. I never wanted it to end like this, with my life left up on the surface. There's no room to breathe and it's getting to me, the silence is deafening. Blackened eyes and collapsed lungs, I can’t seem to find the strength to hold on. In minutes I'll be gone and I can’t make this undone. I tear my world apart more and more each day. How did it get this way? I want the weight to bury me, so I can feel at home again. I’ve been dragged below, it won’t be long until it feels like home. Should I give up and accept my death? Assure myself its best that I leave this life and feeling nothingness. The fear of drowning has taken every breath, I won’t let go of the reason that's brought me here. I’ve been dragged below, better fast but I’m surely dying slow. I’m so alone, it won’t be long until it feels like home.
4.
With this weight on me, I’m giving in. Why can't I stop this from happening. Even though you're gone I hope you're listening, so these words won’t fade away. Am I forgotten? There isn’t much left to say, I made it this way. Pick up the pieces of the mess I made, I’m dreading to wake up and repeat another day. I guess you could say that it’s always been that way, I need to leave this place. Time goes by, I still can’t sleep. The misery that the cold truth brings. Left alone but not on my own, but I'm a shell of a man I used to be. I lie to myself saying things are alright. I’ll continue through life, pretending that I’m fine. My life is on the line. There is no better time to watch the world in me die. Anxiety is continuing to replace my sleep, so my demon won’t exist and it won’t haunt me. Would you remember me two years ago, these loveless days are ending so slow. I can’t bring myself to see you but after everything I’m put through. Finally I realise that this will be the death of me. These days are getting longer. I know I’ve given in, I can’t stand it with this weight on me. I know it's always been this way. I just know you don’t understand. Give me a reason why I shouldn’t end it all. I know I’m in this on my own, but I am worth so much more than this. I know things come to an end. I just hate it had to happen now. Will your deafened ears hear me screaming that I hate the life I’m leading? I know I brought this on myself. I just want you to know.
5.
Constant over thinking, deciding if I’m the one to blame. I’m unable to pick myself up, I’ll slowly rot away. I remember when you said, that love will always find a way. But an endless burning feeling won’t let me feel the same. The memory is starting to fade because being alone is the way that I will stay. When its over and it's my time, I hope you meet me on the other side. Drown out the noise that keeps me up at night, blacken my eyes will keep away the light. Forget whats building up and wish it all away. Numbing my mind will keep away the fear, the reason you're gone still won’t just disappear. I'm sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. Endless sleep. My eyes are shut, would it be better to never wake up? Block out, the sinking feeling that I couldn’t stop you from leaving. I have been hanging my head, choosing between life and death. I have been hanging my head, picking up what's left. I have been hanging my head, choosing between life and death. I have been hanging my head, saying I'm better off dead. I don’t know which one is worse, the guilt I’m handling or the fact I’m cursed. I hope you’re looking down on me, because I’m scared to death. I searched for you and I lost myself, in endless dreams and a sleepless hell. Fear does not prevent your death, it prevents my life.

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released May 11, 2015

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