I've Been Thinking Of Leaving

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With this weight on me, I’m giving in. Why can't I stop this from happening. Even though you're gone I hope you're listening, so these words won’t fade away. Am I forgotten? There isn’t much left to say, I made it this way. Pick up the pieces of the mess I made, I’m dreading to wake up and repeat another day. I guess you could say that it’s always been that way, I need to leave this place. Time goes by, I still can’t sleep. The misery that the cold truth brings. Left alone but not on my own, but I'm a shell of a man I used to be. I lie to myself saying things are alright. I’ll continue through life, pretending that I’m fine. My life is on the line. There is no better time to watch the world in me die. Anxiety is continuing to replace my sleep, so my demon won’t exist and it won’t haunt me. Would you remember me two years ago, these loveless days are ending so slow. I can’t bring myself to see you but after everything I’m put through. Finally I realise that this will be the death of me. These days are getting longer. I know I’ve given in, I can’t stand it with this weight on me. I know it's always been this way. I just know you don’t understand. Give me a reason why I shouldn’t end it all. I know I’m in this on my own, but I am worth so much more than this. I know things come to an end. I just hate it had to happen now. Will your deafened ears hear me screaming that I hate the life I’m leading? I know I brought this on myself. I just want you to know.

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from The Worst Part Of Life, released May 11, 2015

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